Thu, 4/14: Out of the Darkness: Confronting Domestic Violence in Our Community

All four project partners look forward to seeing you on April 14^th at our 2011 event, “Out of the Darkness: Confronting Domestic Violence in Our Community”. 

 “[W]e renew our commitment to assisting those who have been victimized by crime and supporting those who help survivors rebuild their lives.” - Barack Obama, Presidential Proclamation – National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, April 8, 2011

We are gathering to unite as advocates, service providers, civic and business leaders, law enforcement, survivors, and community members to send a strong message that domestic violence is being taken seriously.

1)       We understand the effects it has on the individual and community’s long-term health and safety. Domestic violence also has deadly consequences.

2)       We want to ensure victims from all communities of color are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

3)       We can all take action to support and protect victims, and to prevent the cycle of domestic violence happening in our families and neighborhoods.

New York Asian Women's Center presents

during National Crime Victims’ Rights Week

Out of the Darkness:

Confronting Domestic Violence

in Our Community 

Domestic violence goes beyond interpersonal violence and

affects the entire community from children to the workplace. 

Watch a film clip of Telling Amy’s Story, a true story.

Join the discussion on appropriate action and response.

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

2:30-5pm

YWCA

42-07 Parsons Boulevard

Queens, NY 11355

Please RSVP ASAP at

http://2011communityeventdvnyc.eventbrite.com/

Light Refreshments.  Networking opportunities.

  Guest Panelists:

Moderator: CUNY School of Law

Former NYAWC Board Chair, Professor Donna Lee

CONNECT

Kala Ganesh, Executive Director

New York City Family Justice Center, Queens

 Susan Jacob, Director of Programs and Training

New York Asian Women’s Center

Jerin Arifa, Project Speak Out Manager

NYPD, Chief of Department, DV Unit

Sergeant Kurz

Verizon

Binta Vann-Joseph, Director, External Communications

For more information, contact: 1-888-888-7702

A Special Thank You to Our Cosponsor the YWCA

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The New York Asian Women’s Center helps women and their children overcome domestic violence and other forms of abuse by empowering them to govern their own lives.  The Center provides a safe haven through multi-lingual support programs and shelter services.  In addition, the Center works to raise public awareness about violence against women, advocates for the rights of survivors, and acts as an agent of social change. 

New York Asian Women's Center, 39 Bowery, PMB 375, New York, NY 10002

Admin: 212-732-0054,  Toll-Free Hotline: 1-888-888-7702, Website: www.nyawc.org

DIRECTIONS

The Reasons Men Abuse: CONNECT Training on Domestic Violence

On March 25, I joined Ted Kang, my Project Speak Out team partner from Korean American Family Services Center at the CONNECT course on “Understanding Domestic Violence: Essentials and Intersections.”  We will be at the training for the next three weeks. 

It was great to see the packed room for the training: there were about 30 attendees, including us.  The only thing I hoped were different was the gender ratio – there were only two men taking the course, including Ted.  My disappointment was somewhat lifted to find that two of the three trainers were men. 

During the course of the training, we were reminded during a documentary presentation by Jackson Katz why men MUST get involved in the anti-domestic violence field for any changes to happen.  It seems counter-intuitive to make domestic violence an issue for the majority of victims – women – when we should be targeting the majority of perpetrators – men.  Here are some U.S. Department of Justice statistics to remind us why:
•    Men perpetrate the majority of violent acts against women: about 90%
•    1 in 4 men will abuse their partner
•    Over 95% sexual perpetrators are men
•    In 92% of all domestic violence incidents, crimes are committed by men against women
•    Annually, compared to males, females experience over 10 times as many incidents of violence by an intimate partner
•    Men will rape 1 out of 6 women and commit more than 300,000 acts of rape and sexual assault every year

Katz points out why it is not man-hating to discuss the majority of perpetrators of violence – men. 
•    76% of the violence men commit is against other men
•    Men commit 90% of all violence – whether directed toward other men or women

The trainers discussed our patriarchal culture being responsible for men’s violence.   Our misogynistic culture harms both men and women, with a narrative that sees men as violent, unemotional, sex-crazed brutes who cannot help but harm women.  It denies men the intelligence they possess, making it acceptable for them to be violent toward others and themselves.  Trainer Quentin Walcott demonstrated this idea well when citing how he broke his rib cages while playing football.  When he was first injured and thought of sitting on the bench, before breaking his bones, he remembered his mother’s voice telling him to “man up” as a child.  If our patriarchal culture did not intervene, he would not have had to endure the broken bones.

During one of our exercises, we were asked to list all the different reasons men abuse.  Everything from alcohol abuse to jealousy to mental problems was listed.  At the end of the exercise, the trainers told us the single reason why men abuse – they choose to.  Most of those men do not hit their co-workers or other people in their lives when they get angry.  They use anger as an excuse to hit women because they know they can get away with it.  This is exactly why sending abusers to anger management classes does not help – they know exactly how to control their anger.  They use anger as a tool to control their partners; sending men to anger management makes them only more cunning.  

There were many more interesting topics brought up during the course of the day.  Some of my tweets from the day are below:

•    Just had a passionate debate wi domestic violence advocates RE spanking. Some say its ok #VAW #IPV

•    Flaming faggot comes from burning men during witch burnings who supported the women considered witches #fem2 #VAW

•    1 way dominant group stays in power is by not being discussed: when we discuss race we think minority races but not white

•    Quentin Walker talks RE crying when he broke his ribs "what is this water coming out of my eyes?" male #fem2

•    NYC schools receive funding based on number of kids on medication, making them push meds on kids #fem2 #edu

•    Having difficulty doing exercise on why men abuse. Its because someone CHOOSES to #VAW #IPV #DV

•    A woman just protested to being vilified 4 crimes of past racist whites & wants us to just move on #racism

•    Origin of word Hispanic=his+panic. GOP came up wi term instead of Latino to discuss Spain origin instead of own nation

•    2 men & 25 women @ CONNECT NYC training RE domestic violence. Plus 2 men & 1 woman trainer. We need more male #fem2 #VAW

•    At the CONNECT NYC training on domestic violence for my job @ProjectSpeakOut. Only 20% victims report #VAW #DV #IPV

Sincerely,

N. Jerin Arifa

Project Speak Out Team

New York Asian Women's Center (NYAWC)

New York Budget Cuts - Hurting Already Disadvantaged Women!

As if it wasn't challenging and painful enough to be a low-income, immigrant woman in New York City!

The New York Women's Foundation released a report on March 23rd, that assesses the impact proposed budget cuts in NYC which found that

"low–income women in New York City bear a disproportionate burden in Governor Cuomo’s proposed budget. As such, they are placed at even greater risk of entrenched poverty, physical, emotional and sexual violence, poor health and other factors that contribute to long–term economic stagnation. Many of the proposed budget cuts disproportionately affect single mother heads of households and women holding lower–paying jobs in the public and nonprofit sectors"

See the gender budget analysis here:   http://bit.ly/fStVwZ

Sethu Nair
Project Speak Out Team
Sakhi for South Asian Women

Pregnant Asian women die at twice the rate of white pregnant women

As reported on this story from Women's eNews, pregnant Asian women die at twice the rate of white pregnant women in NYC.  Lack of prenatal care is one of the factors, especially since some of these Asian women have language and immigration barriers.

Another factor, although undocumented, might be domestic violence.  Pregnant women are 60.6% more likely to be beaten than women who are not pregnant.  Violence is cited as a pregnancy complication more often than diabetes, hypertension or any other serious complication.


This is another reason why Project Speak Out was created - to change community attitude and behaviors that allow perpetrators to beat and abuse one of the most helpless, yet necessary, group in our society - pregnant women.  


Sincerely,
N. Jerin Arifa
Project Speak Out Manager
New York Asian Women's Center (NYAWC)